How to annoy the Once-Ler

Oncie

-Tell him nobody needs a thneed
-And that they have a stupid name
-Make fun of his own name
-Eat all his marshmallows
-Hide his guitar
-Steal his axe and chase him with it
-Call him unmanly
-Give him a lecture of how unhealthy sweets are
-Hide his hat
-Put his bed in the water again
-Take all the food out of his fridge and fill it with tomatoes
-Interrupt him whenever he's about to sing
-Get some truffula tufts somehow, make them into balls and throw them at him
-Hide his gloves
-Dress up as him and follow him around
-Hug/glomp him 24/7
-Keep poking him while saying, "Is this annoying?"
-At night tell him birds are gonna eat him
-and creatures are gonna come and make furniture out of his bones
-At random moments yell, "THIS WHOLE THING WILL BE A DISASTER NANANANANA"
-Get Melvin to annoy him too
-Argue with him that the price for a thneed is too much, then change what you think the price should be a bunch of times
-Also suggest it should be free
-Ask him to show you ALL the uses for a thneed, when he's done ask him to show you again because you were too busy fantasizing about Oncest
-Call him a mommy's boy
-Repeatedly tell him you really hate his mom
-and his whole family in general
-Trip him and when he's falling yell, "TIMBERRRR"
-Instead of putting his bed in the water flood his "house"
-Complain that the thneed is just a fuzzier snuggie
-Sing nanananlalalalala/whatever annoying noises/ when he's knitting or something
-Eat his pancakes and tell him they're terrible
-Call him Oncie all the time (I would think this might annoy him since just his mom calls him that..)
-Secretly sell his thneeds on ebay and claim all the money you make
-Make fun of him for "kissing" the Lorax
-Pretend you're going to buy a thneed, then yell "nah" and run off

Greed-Ler

-Tell him green is not his color
-Correct him that biggering is not a real word
-Steal his gloves too
-and his glitter glasses
-Hit on him all the time
-Screw up the town model in his office
-Draw a mustache on the picture of him in the hall
-Wait until he notices the picture, looks at you, and then point to someone/something else and say, "I think he did it!!"
-Dress up in his old clothes and follow him around
-Repeatedly ask him if it's la-la-la-la-lunch time
-Yell at him for stealing Horton's clover
-And just yell at him all the time for breaking his promise and whatnot
-Tell him the picture of him on the billboards is disturbing
-Make him buy you things
-Protest outside, like try chaining yourself to a tree
-Throw other materials in the thneed-making machine besides truffula
-When he's sleeping draw a mustache on him with sharpie
-Sing "For he's a jolly good Once-Ler" nonstop
-Go into a small empty room when no one's around. Drill a fist-sized hole in the door and about a foot next to it drill another the same size. Call the Once-Ler over and tell him to go in the room (say there's money in there or something) When he's in close the door and lock it. Make sure to stand back. Just his arms should go through the holes as he tries to choke you. Now you have your very own "original" Once-Ler~

Old Once-Ler

-Make him play THE DONKEY KONGS
-and breakdance
-and wear bellbottoms
-Steal the seed from him
-Pester him why he didn't just plant it himself years ago
-Complain he's not young anymore
-Complain about his mustache
-Continue to lecture him about how unhealthy sweets are
-Sing "How Bad Can I Be" when he's listening
-Remind him how he killed nature
-Complain he didn't even bother to dig out the tree-stumps or get rid of his axe-machines (SRSLY TED ALMOST DIED FROM THOSE )
-When he's sleeping dye his mustache yellow
-Remind him of the time his family left him and they're all probably dead by now
-He's probably just really upset now instead of annoyed... so hug him until he gets annoyed
-Keep asking him if Ted's his grandson
-Ask him if he's still rich, and make him buy you more things